Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
Whether choosing to homeschool was deliberate, because of an unforeseen circumstance (looking at you COVID-era lockdowns), or a heartfelt calling guided by the Holy Spirit, taking on homeschooling can feel like a monumental, countercultural decision for any parent. Add being a single parent to the mix, and suddenly, the challenge starts to feel impossible. But let me assure you, it’s not impossible. Is it difficult? Perhaps. Challenging? Absolutely. Impossible? Far from it.
When I first realized that I would be homeschooling as a single mom to two kids, I scoured the internet for advice. What I discovered was not encouraging. It’s possible that single parents simply don’t have the extra time to post their homeschooling experiences online, but it’s more likely there are just very few of us in this space. If you’re wondering “Can I do this?” – keep reading! I’ll share the most valuable advice I discovered when starting my homeschooling journey as a single mom.
Before diving into homeschooling, take time to figure out your motivations. There will come a day when you genuinely question your own sanity and have to remember the reasons you chose to homeschool in the first place. It’s better to have those reasons figured out before that day comes. Define your goals – what do you aim to achieve as the sole educator for your children? Ensure that your decision is child-centric; if it’s all about personal desires, homeschooling isn’t going to be sustainable. Consider alternative plans if homeschooling doesn’t align with your family’s needs. These critical reflections will guide your decision-making process and prepare you for the homeschooling journey ahead.
Next, you need to set realistic expectations for your homeschool. If you’re like me, you knew you’d be a homeschooling mom, but maybe you didn’t realize you’d be a single homeschooling mom. The plans you might have had before, may need to be revised into something a little more manageable. It’s likely you will be working a full-time job and managing your household while also trying to homeschool. That’s a lot on one plate. Don’t be ashamed to remove a few unnecessary things from the plate until you can make time in your life and mind for them. It’s okay to buy the pre-made pie to bring for Thanksgiving dinner if that’s all you have time for right now. You can even do what my grandma used to do and slip it out of the box and into a fancy pie dish so no one will know. You also need to realize that this is just a season. Your annual vacation budget may have to become your annual curriculum budget for now. That’s ok. I promise, the memories you make with your kids at home, will be just a special as the ones you might’ve had on the beach or on the ski hill.
Once you’ve established realistic expectations, building a strong support network becomes vital. This network can become the cornerstone of your homeschooling journey, offering guidance, understanding, encouragement, and practical help. This support network can come from many different places. If you have friends and family that support you and your decision, that’s going to be the best place to start. You trust those people and they likely already know the important aspects of your situation. Another great source could be joining online homeschool groups. You may not get the practical help from strangers on the internet, but you’ll definitely find someone that can relate to your situation and offer guidance and encouragement. But beware, with the good usually comes a little bad, so use discernment on the advice you choose to take.
You’re likely to receive a lot of advice to join a co-op, and while this is fantastic advice in theory, I’ve found it to be very impractical for my situation. Most co-ops are structured with the stay-home-parent in mind, not the single parent; meaning, they take place in the middle of the week during the middle of the work day and many require parents “volunteer” to teach or help out in other time-commitment sort of ways. This just simply isn’t possible when working a full-time job without another parent to help out. If you can make it work, then definitely look into it. If you can’t, don’t sweat it. There will still be plenty of opportunities for you and your kids to make friends in the homeschool community. I also recommend checking with your church or library about local homeschool groups or meetups and seeing if you can connect. You might be surprised to find out how many other homeschool families there are right in your area.
Having laid the groundwork in Part 1, we’re now set to dive deeper into the specifics. Part 2 unpacks the essential steps to initial homeschooling, reveals helpful resources and tools to aid in your journey, while highlighting the crucial role of self-care in achieving a balance as a homeschooling single mom. Join me as we move forward in this homeschooling journey together.
Until next time, remember to embrace the chaos and pardon the mess,
Holly